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i feel like crying for no reason . imbalance hormone that is . i wanted to write down everything here but i just cnt do it . i need my diary for this . well , this blog has been my electronic-diary so far . but somehow it's very different from those diary that i've been keeping . my diaries are private . no one knows what's inside that diary .

i miss writing in my diary , i used to do that when i was schooling , now that im living far away from home , i just cudnt do it anymore . i dont want anybody to ever touch my diary so bringing it to puncak or wherever place is a bit risky . so that explain the existence of this blog if you wanna know . and yes , i do have 3 diaries that im still keeping it till now . reading them back make me curve into smile . well at least i know what had happened to me few years back . i was like "is this really me?" . yea , like i said , im having a hard time to believe that it was me who wrote it . the dates , the year , the time , the feeling ... it all came to me when i read it . believe it or not, it's just like a time machine where u can go back to the memories , but of course without changing it . that's the fact . seriously , i miss doing it :(

somehow , i miss the past . we've been thru a lot of things together but in the end , i wasnt the one that u choose to be with . things are changing so fast . the only thing i hope is that we can always meet each other so u wont forget me . though i know , i can never be the one . im thinking to escape , i mean like running away far from u , bcuz i know i wont be the one . but that will only hurt my feelings even more . i dont have that much money , that courage and everything , but i just want u to know , i miss us :(

p/s - just dont ask who . let me keep it to myself .



misterloveqbal , dun worry..it's not u..it's a good thing that i have u bcuz i know u wont leave me like they do . thanks for the love syg . u coloured my life :)